Love Your Life
17 Ways to Feel Calm Every Day
by Norine Dworkin-McDaniel (Family Circle, 10/18/05)
I know a little something about stress. In the last six months I got married, sold our house and found another place to live. My husband lost his grandmother and his job after the company he worked for folded. And I discovered I was pregnant. Any wonder I'm stressed? Fortunately, I've learned some effective ways to lower the pressure. So when you feel as though you're ready to explode, here are some ways to help calm you down.
Identify the tension. Write down the things ratcheting up your stress level - your finances, sick child, your commute. Next, figure out what you can control. Even small changes can help you feel as if you can handle the rest. Can you leave work earlier or later so you're not caught in rush-hour traffic? Can your husband drop off or pick up the kids? Such adjustments can lessen "the stress coming, which decreases your blood pressure and the amount of adrenaline you're running on," explains James Dillard, MD assistant clinical professor at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City.
Let it slide. Sticky fingerprints on the fridge? Construction on the freeway? Annoying? yes. Worth blowing your top? Probably not. When something is bothering you, rate the situation on a scale of 1 to 10, then judge your reaction, suggests Allen Elkin, PhD, author of Stress Management for Dummies (Wiley). If you're having an 8 reaction to a 2 situation, it's not worth working yourself into a tizzy. Another way to decide: Ask yourself if in a few hours you're even going to remember what has got you so angry.
Clean up. When you get stressed about issues at work or in the world, focus your energy closer to home. Try a clean-up - your efforts will feel immensely satisfying. Do the laundry, organize the closets, toss out old medications or cosmetics, clean the fridge. Maintaining order on the home front can make you feel better about outside events that you can't control, says Alice Domar, PhD, director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF.
Breathe. Seems like a no-brainer. But there's breathing and the there's bre-e-e-e-e-athing. Taking slow, deep breaths immediately eliminately anxiety, says Veronica Tonay, PhD, a psychologist a the University of California, Santa Cruz. Her recipe for short-circuiting stress: Breathe in for a count of 5, hold for 2, then out for 5. This mimics your breathing while you're asleep. Slowly work up to 8 counts. "Within a minute, you won't feel so panicked," she says.
Stretch. "If your body is tense, your mind thinks there's something to be tense about," explains Joan Borysenko, PhD, author of Inner Peace for Busy People (Hay House). Try this simple yoga exercise to relax: Inhale and lift your shoulders to your ears; then exhale and let them go. Do these shoulder shrugs periodically throughout the day. "Every time you release physical tension, your mental tension goes down too," says Dr. Borysenko.
Make it new. Get out of your routine - it can alleviate some of the "low-grade anxiety" that comes with the same old, same old, says Dr. Dillard. Try a new route home. Try a new restaurant. Wear a new color.
Play like a child. Think about what you loved doing as a kid, and do it again, suggests Dr. Domar. "It's important to have things in your life that give you some downtime. If you're immersed in doing a jigsaw puzzle, you're not going to be worrying about tomorrow's meeting or the state of the economy."
Listen to music. Whether you go for classical, New Age or soft rock, music can be remarkably soothing. According to a study done at Yale University School of Medicine, when patients preparing for surgery listened to music of their choice for 30 minutes, their anxiety levels were 16 percent lower than those of other patients who didn't.
Take a scented bath. Baths soothe, even more so when you add lavender essential oil or wash with a lavender bath gel. "Lavender produces alpha waves, which indicate a more relaxed state," says Allen Hirsch, MD, director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Vanilla has a calming effect too.
Get moving. Exercise is not only a good distraction, it also boosts concentrations of the brain chemical norepinephrine, which some researchers believe help modulate stress.
Laugh. "It's impossible to be stressed when you're laughing," says Loretta LaRoche, a stress management consultant and author of Life is Short - Wear Your Party Pants (Hay House). Laughter lowers levels of stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine. So rent some comedies.
Hang with your pals. Good friends buffer stress. In a University of Pittsburgh study of 39 college women, those who did tasks with a friend had much lower heart rates and blood pressure than those who did them alone. Other studies show people with strong support networks catch fewer colds and are less likely to have fatal heart attacks.
Go for the touch. "Massage stimulates pressure receptors under the skin, which tell the brain to slow heart rate, lower blood pressure and reduce stress hormones," explains Tiffany Field PhD, director of the Touch Research Institutes at the University of Miami School of Medicine. Even a 10-minute massage works wonders, says Dr. Field.
Meditate. Stress increases levels of harmful LDL cholesterol, which causes dangerous plaque buildup in the arteries. But meditation has been shown to help lessen these levels. Dr. Elkin suggests doing mini-meditations. Begin by focusing completely on your breathing. Then free your mind of clutter. You'll soon feel refreshed.
Go to bed earlier. We often push bedtime later to squeeze in more awake hours. But according to the National Sleep Foundation in Washington DC, when we get fewer than six hours of sleep a night, we're more likely to be sad, stressed and angry. We're also more likely to overeat. If you have trouble sleeping, listen to music or take a hot bath or shower before bed.
Find a hobby. Whether it's tennis, hiking or singing in the choir, have things in life you do just for fun. "You manage stress by balancing the negative things that are happening to you with positive things you can look forward to," says Dr. Elkin.
Take a vacation. "Our brains are not wired to be on all the time, and our bodies aren't meant to be stimulated 18 hours a day," says Dr. Domar. "We need to have time just to stare at the waves." Indeed, a nine-year study of 12,338 middle-aged men at risk for heart disease done at the State University of New York, Oswego, found those who took annual vacations were at lower risk for dying from any cause, including heart disease. You don't even have to travel - just turn off your cell phone and avoid e-mail. It will make your feel as if you are on vacation without leaving home.
